Tag: JUSTNO

Do ex daughters-in-law dream of slaying monsters?

The gauntlet has been thrown

I think folks are keen on pushing my buttons to see how far I will go.  Or maybe they really are just that obtuse, just floating along on this cloud of delusion that everybody loves them. Never once considering that there is someone out there that dreams of drawing and quartering them, then mounting their skull on a pike. Or something similar.

 I try to keep a civil tongue, mainly because I was raised to respect my elders, even when they are being less than respectful to me.  I am also shedding this toxic mentality so that my kids will never be afraid to tell me when they have been less than amazing human beings.  So I am stuck in this dichotomy of respecting old people who have done nothing to earn my respect other than be born decades before me, and allowing young people to flat out argue with me over things I absolutely know to be true.  It’s exhausting.

And all of this is relevant when I tell you that my Tiny Monkey’s paternal grandmother has nothing but contempt for me, does little to conceal it, but then speaks to me on occasion as if we have a close relationship.  She offers unsolicited advice and opinions on everything I do.  And out of deference to my partner, I kept my mouth closed, and trusted that he would set her straight.  Spoiler alert: that never happened.

So now my partner is my ex-partner. We share child, so of course there has to be some communication between us.  But I expected that with the dissolution of our partnership my obligation to communicate with his mother would cease.  Oh, were I so lucky.  If you read my last post, you know that she was trying to shoehorn her way into a PTA meeting for my daughter’s school – from 2500+ miles away! I think he got to her before I could, and she dropped out before I could address it. So now she is back to being insulting, minus the abrasiveness.  And she had the nerve to copy my mother on this bullshit email she sent.

I am not going to go into detail about the contents of the email, because it is ridiculously irrelevant and boils down to her giving a few pointers on how to do things the way she did them.  I interpret that to mean that she believes that I am fucking up and I am doing it all wrong.  At these times I would like to remind her that this is not my first rodeo, and my oldest child did graduate college and go on to be a productive member of society.  Her only child did not graduate college (after making several attempts) and as has yet “failed to launch”.  So who is the more qualified parent here?

Y’all, the gloves are officially off.  I hope y’all started that go fund me campaign because it’s about to get ugly. This is really the last warning I’m going to give her.  I hope she is smart enough to take the hint.  Because the next step will be drastic, and NOBODY is going to be happy, but I will be slightly more pleased than everyone else involved.

These hands are rated “E” for Everybody

My daughter and I are ~2500 miles away from her father. But I believe that a parent is a parent no matter how far away they are, so I make sure he is signed up to get the newsletters and emails and every school announcement that I get. Him, but not his mother.

This past week there was a PTA meeting for the school on zoom. I logged in kinda late, and I see he is there already. I’m a little embarrassed cause I like to be the parent that is on top of things, and not sprinting in at the last minute. And just as I am shaking that feeling off, I see that his MOTHER has signed into the meeting. Y’all this pisses me off on so many levels.

About 5 years ago this woman called me an awful parent, insinuating that my son’s success had nothing to do with me. When I moved across country it was just before the pandemic; I did not realize that it was going to take 2+ years for me to reunite my family, or that her father was going to definitively prove that he had no interest in being a complement to my life instead of a curse. During that time my daughter’s father was supposed to be caring for our daughter, but instead he allowed his mother to take the reins. For that reason I was not given any access to my daughter’s school records, announcements, grades, attendance… NOTHING. Her father would sometimes talk about something in passing and then say “oh, I didn’t tell you?” He never added me to the list of authorized contacts or the mailing list, never gave me a valid reason, and even after bringing it to his attention he still did not get me included on anything related to her school.

  

So when she pops in to the meeting, I text him something snarky like “I see you are still keeping her in the loop.” He says she found the information online and he could not stop her from attending. And how exactly does she know which of the 50 gajillion schools in the area my daughter goes to? And why haven’t you told her to butt out?

  

See, she had ONE JOB. And she failed at it. At one point she even asked me to help him not lose his job. (He is a GROWN AZZ MAN, how tf am I supposed to do THAT?!) I spent almost 15 years trying to fix what she never allowed to develop until I threw my hands up and called it quits. I finally realised that neither one of them appreciated any of my efforts; my rewards included gaslighting, being designated the scapegoat, and the complete dissolution of my peace. And that is just from him; we won’t talk about what came from her.

  

And now she wants to be an influencer in my child’s life? I already see the ill effects of her influence and I am not a fan. She crippled her only child into not being fully functional on his own, and I will be dayumed if I let her do that to my child.

  

I was 2 seconds off of sending a text message to her telling her to take a flying leap, when I see that she removed herself from the meeting. I’ll save that text message for another day, because I KNOW that day is coming. In the meantime, y’all get my bail/legal defense fund set up for me? Or maybe a plausible alibi? I am pretty sure I am gonna need it.