My daughter and I are ~2500 miles away from her father. But I believe that a parent is a parent no matter how far away they are, so I make sure he is signed up to get the newsletters and emails and every school announcement that I get. Him, but not his mother.
This past week there was a PTA meeting for the school on zoom. I logged in kinda late, and I see he is there already. I’m a little embarrassed cause I like to be the parent that is on top of things, and not sprinting in at the last minute. And just as I am shaking that feeling off, I see that his MOTHER has signed into the meeting. Y’all this pisses me off on so many levels.
About 5 years ago this woman called me an awful parent, insinuating that my son’s success had nothing to do with me. When I moved across country it was just before the pandemic; I did not realize that it was going to take 2+ years for me to reunite my family, or that her father was going to definitively prove that he had no interest in being a complement to my life instead of a curse. During that time my daughter’s father was supposed to be caring for our daughter, but instead he allowed his mother to take the reins. For that reason I was not given any access to my daughter’s school records, announcements, grades, attendance… NOTHING. Her father would sometimes talk about something in passing and then say “oh, I didn’t tell you?” He never added me to the list of authorized contacts or the mailing list, never gave me a valid reason, and even after bringing it to his attention he still did not get me included on anything related to her school.
So when she pops in to the meeting, I text him something snarky like “I see you are still keeping her in the loop.” He says she found the information online and he could not stop her from attending. And how exactly does she know which of the 50 gajillion schools in the area my daughter goes to? And why haven’t you told her to butt out?
See, she had ONE JOB. And she failed at it. At one point she even asked me to help him not lose his job. (He is a GROWN AZZ MAN, how tf am I supposed to do THAT?!) I spent almost 15 years trying to fix what she never allowed to develop until I threw my hands up and called it quits. I finally realised that neither one of them appreciated any of my efforts; my rewards included gaslighting, being designated the scapegoat, and the complete dissolution of my peace. And that is just from him; we won’t talk about what came from her.
And now she wants to be an influencer in my child’s life? I already see the ill effects of her influence and I am not a fan. She crippled her only child into not being fully functional on his own, and I will be dayumed if I let her do that to my child.
I was 2 seconds off of sending a text message to her telling her to take a flying leap, when I see that she removed herself from the meeting. I’ll save that text message for another day, because I KNOW that day is coming. In the meantime, y’all get my bail/legal defense fund set up for me? Or maybe a plausible alibi? I am pretty sure I am gonna need it.
Chaotically Controlled 
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