After my “Things fall Apart” post, I decided that it was time to get back on the wagon, or at least shore up my coping skills. If you read between the lines, you probably assumed that to be my next step. So I looked through many, MANY options and I chose one that I thought would be good for me. Her profile indicated that we had similar backgrounds and I thought we would get along. I set an appointment, and for those of you who know the struggle, new patient appointments are most often times in high demand and short supply. The earliest appointment was for one month away. I booked it and waited.
So appointment is at 4, in town. I work in a different section of town and I left there at 3. I figure I’ll take the train because traffic in this beautiful city is always bullshit and parking is not much better. And it is only going to take me 20 min to get there on train anyway. I get on the train near work, get off the train in town and that is when my GPS says ‘oh you thought this was gonna be a couple blocks? Oh no, this is a half a mile!’ In this heat, are you fucking shitting me?! I think I probably would have chanced traffic for that. But ok, whatever, I’ve come this far already so let’s do this. I start walking towards this place and suddenly I am lost. I can’t figure out where the hayell I am supposed to go to next; my GPS apparently isn’t used to me walking. So I’m like fuck it, I am just going to call a Lyft. At this point I am already 3 minutes late. I tell myself ‘doctors don’t like when you are late, so let me just call and see if it’s still ok before I pay for this Lyft.’ Call rings to voicemail. I’m thinking I’ll just leave a message because she may be finishing up a patient. She’ll check the voicemail after she’s done because she’s waiting for me and she’d check to see if there is a problem, right? I leave a voicemail that says I’m lost, I’m on my way, but if it’s too late call me back and I’ll reschedule, blah blah blah.
No response. I get there and it’s 4:15. There is no receptionist, but instructions to ring the bell. I ring the bell. And wait. This lady walks up the hallway looking at me like she has no clue why I would be there ringing her bell. I said I was her 4 pm appointment. She looks at me like she smelled something foul, then says, (cue snooty English butler voice) “Unfortunately we need the whole hour, so you will have to reschedule. My receptionist is out so you will have to call us back later. And right now we are scheduling a month out.”
Are you kidding me? I had to wait a MONTH for this appointment!!! And *I* have to call *YOU* back?!
I left. It is as hot as Hades’ left nutsack when his legs are crossed, so I sit on the front step of the building catching my breath and deciding my next move (“Lyft or no Lyft?”). I must have been out there for 10 minutes when I get a phone call. The number looks familiar; I realise it’s the same doctor I just walked away from. Fuck that bitch she can talk to my voicemail. The lovely thing about my voicemail is that when I get a message, it is transcribed and then sent to me as a text. “Well, if you are still in the area we can do a mini evaluation. It’s not ideal but it might get us what we need. “
Wait, what? You wait until I am out the door and possibly on the expressway to call and offer what you could have offered while I was still in the building, looking at you? Naw bitch. I am good. But out of courtesy I call her back and say I will not be coming back inside. I said that it is not because I was too far away – I am sitting on the front step deciding if I want to take a Lyft back to the station or just walk (she laughed at that) – but because I don’t think she has enough compassion to be my doctor. Her response? “Well, just to let you know…” Nope, no more. I am not listening to her rationalize why she treated me like so much garbage. Not a “I’m sorry you got lost.” Or “That must have be frustrating to be lost in an unfamiliar place. Here’s what I can do, and you let me know where you want to go from here.” Nope, just rationalizing why she didn’t have to treat me as a fellow human being. And then she wants to play nice AFTER I have left the building.
Nope. Double nope. Triple nope. Nope “To infinity and Beyond”
I found a psych doc. Man is she spectacular. She should give the other one lessons.
But with all of that, she was not the worst part of the adventure. But you’ll have to read my next blog entry for that beautiful drama.
Chaotically Controlled 